What Do You Really Desire?

Hello again! I apologize for the lack of updates, I just finished up participating in an academic institute that's been taking up most of my time. I'm definitely going to go ahead and give myself a gold star for doing reasonably well on my goals these past two weeks though! I haven't been near perfect but I've been moving, having fun, getting things done, AND reading and working a bunch for this institute so I'm pretty proud of that :).  All that said, however, now that this is done I really need to get back on track with things like candidacy reading and regular exercise!

I'm really loving the work of Carolyn Elliott right now, and her (free!) 7 part newsletter (which you can sign up for on her website) about taking the first steps to, as she says, "go deep and get BIG magically," which I started getting the other day, has been really inspiring already. Action #2 is to "get vulnerable" by identifying the things that you really want, ranging from the grand to the trivial.

No. But this book is awesome.

This is harder than you might think - we're trained to believe that we can't have what we really want, that we want certain "approved," "secure" things, that it's better to settle. This is all ridiculous! So she says to ask yourself -

What do I want so much that it scares me? What do I want even though it kinda hurts to want it?

It's harder than you might think to admit these truths to yourself. Here are a few of the things I came up with (in no particular order) - 

• When I was in high school I was obsessed with this quotation from the film Shakespeare in Love: "I will have poetry in my life. And love. Love above all else. Unbiddable, ungovernable, like a riot in the heart." I still want this, in all the ways it's possible to want it. I want the poetry and love of the world all around me - together they make the magic I know is out there. I want the poetry of rain, of animals, of city streets, and wind in my hair. I want romantic love, family's love, friendship's love, passionate love, quiet love, and creative love. I want it all.
• I want to remember the magic of the everyday every single day. I want to remember to feel it all around me, to let it flow through me, to breathe it in.
• I want to write the stories and poems that I want to read - I have so many ideas, so many unfinished poems and just started stories, even a novel in progress. I know I can finish them and I know it's important that I do.
• I want to share my life with animals, always.
• I want to be the kind of professor my mentor in undergrad was - to do the kind of research I love and publish books on it, to write creatively as well, to inspire students to do what they love and show them the coolest things I know of that pertain to that love. I want people to read my bio on a school's website and think "man, she's really doing fantastic stuff!"

:). So there's a bit of my own soul laid bare. What things do you really really want?

I also really really recommend the essays she has up on her website. I linked to one she posted at The Rebelle Society the other day but they're all more than worth reading!

So here's to going deep and embracing the magic :).

A Few Interesting Things To Share:
The Critical Importance of Kindness
Free Cookbook Teaches You How to Be Healthy on $4/Day
12 Minute Athlete
45 Acts of Kindness

Again, thanks for reading - it really helps and motivates me to know there are people out there following this journey!